Substitute

My heart was racing, my hands were shaking as I approached the front door of the small terraced house. After all the planning, the long weeks of anticipation, all the messy fantasies in my lonely single bed, today was going to be the day. THE DAY!! My 13 year old brain felt as though it was going to explode in its excitement. And as for my....boy part, well, its skinny 12 centimetre length had never been so ragingly hard. Ever. My finger was poised to press the doorbell for long seconds, as if it was had been frozen in place, but I finally shook my head in frustration, just do it, you dork, what could go wrong, I told myself. The die was cast, I heard the familiar soft 'ding, dong' in the narrow hallway. After what seemed to be a lifetime, light footsteps approached, the door began to crack open. 

And then my world imploded.

"Hiya, Dean. I saw you from the window."

I was dumbfounded to see an eleven year old boy, rather than the person I'd been expected.

"D....Danny. W....what are you doing here?"

"S....sorry, Dean, there's....been an accident. Josie has been taken to A & E. She fell down the stairs, she rang us because Aunty Angela is working, and Josie didn't have her Mum's number. My Mum thinks she's broken her ankle, she's taken her to the hospital in our car, because there wouldn't be an ambulance available for ages, they said." 

"Oh fu....flipping hell! Is Josie alright - apart from her ankle, I mean."

"She was crying a lot, she said it really hurts." The boy looked me in sympathy. "She asked me to tell you what's happened. She told me, when Mum was on the phone to the hospital, that you were going to be here, but not to tell anyone else. She's not supposed to let any visitors in when she's at home on her own."

Josie, obviously enough, was my girlfriend, the same age as me, all bar a couple of months, we'd known each other since starting at the local comp when we were 11, and became friends not long after, in a more or less platonic way - there was a mixed gender group, maybe ten or a dozen strong, in our form room who got along pretty well. As puberty was starting to rear its ugly head, though, quite a few of our crew were starting to pair off by the end of our first year at the school, but Josie and I were both seemingly 'late bloomers' in that context, and were happy with simply being pals. I did get invited to her twelfth birthday celebration, at the local bowling alley, which surprised me a little - I'd only asked a couple of the boys to join me at the swimming pool and later at my house to play a few games on my new ZX Spectrum (it was a joint Christmas and birthday present, I was born in mid-January) when I'd had my party, if you call it that, a couple of months earlier - but there was no sense at that point that we starting to go to another level in our relationship, certainly from my perspective. In fact, it was probably almost a year later, and after I'd had a marked growth spurt between the next autumn and winter and Josie's thirteenth birthday in the March, that my hormones began to assert themselves. The girl was blooming herself by then - she'd always been pretty to my eyes, but her body had been largely boyish looking until that Spring - and after a day trip on the bus to the seaside during in the Easter holidays, we seemed to realise, more or less simultaneously, that we wanted to be more than just friends. We were both shy and hesitant initially, but it wasn't too long before we kissed for the first time, and the dam had been breached even before we'd gone back to school for the Summer Term. Incipient desire might have been growing, but that didn't mean that there weren't practical obstacles. Josie's parents, especially her mother, were very old-fashioned, and mine weren't much better, so there was no chance that they would be anything but dead-set against our having any sexual contact at all. Neither mother worked in any case, so there precious little scope for us being alone together, unless the weather co-operated and we able to find a private, and more to the point, dry niche somewhere. We had been able to indulge in a little petting, as it was called at that time, but it just made us all the more frustrated. A chink of light had unexpectedly appeared, though, in the last few weeks of the school term, in the shape of Josie's mother volunteering as a crèche assistant at her church, three days a week, all summer. 'That's our chance', my girl had said gleefully, and I was fully in agreement. But now, those beguiling hopes and dreams seemed to be in ruins. I felt like crying, right there on the doorstep, and I guess it might have showed, because the younger boy, who was Josie's cousin, seemed to want to make me feel better.

"Come inside, Dean. You can stay with me if you like, Mum was going to ring to tell me if there was any news. Maybe you might be able to go to the hospital later, if Josie's got to stay in. I like her, she's nice to me, I hope she's going to be alright."

"Me too, Danny. Why didn't you go to the hospital after it happened?"

"I....I can't. I've got a....pho....pho-something about hospitals."

"Phobia?"

"Yeah, that's it. The last time I went to one, I....peed myself, I was that scared, and I was only visiting my grandma after she had an operation." The boy blushed furiously. "I bet you think I'm a baby now," he whispered in his embarrassment.

"I don't think that, at all. Anyone who likes hospitals is a looney, as far as I'm concerned! Hospitals are important, but yeah, they're pretty scary places to anyone who's not used to them, I reckon. Anyway, I'd like to stay with you for a while, at least until you get a call from your mum. Don't tell her I'm here, please, I don't think your family likes me much."

"I like you, Dean, you're good fun whenever I've seen you. You don't treat me like a little kid, like most people do." We'd moved to the lounge, sitting together on the sofa. He looked at me judiciously. "Are you....Josie's....boyfriend now?"

"I hope so! For a long time, with any luck. She's awesome!"

Danny smiled a little. "Were you two going to....snog each other?!" It was my turn to blush, which made me frown in consternation. The boy was instantly contrite. "S....sorry, Dean, I should've asked that. I...it's none of my business...."

"Hey, don't get all worked up, I'm not going to duff you up, or anything. But it is sort-of....private, you know?"

"Yeah, I shouldn't have been nosy. My Mum and Dad always say I'm too....curious for my own good. Specially when I got....beaten up, at half-term. I'm not allowed to be at home on my own any longer because of what happened, that's why I'm at Josie's house instead."

I nodded in recollection, Josie had told me some of the story. Danny and his parents lived in an infamous 'sink' council estate, where violence and vandalism was rife, and the boy had said something ill-advised to a teenager, already notorious for bullying much younger children. My girl had been utterly livid, wanting to organise a retaliatory 'expedition', but we were chastened by the more or less universal reaction of not only our respective parents, but also most of our school friends, that unless we could organise a literal army of supporters, we were likely to be on the wrong side of any potential confrontation. Danny's family had spoken to the local police, but they were unhelpful, to say the least, dismissing the incident as a playground quarrel. 'More like they're too scared to do anything', my Dad had said, 'that estate is pretty much a 'no-go area' these days'.

"Mum and Dad are trying to find a way so we can move, but it's pretty tricky, we haven't got much money, and the waiting list for a better flat takes forever," Danny said sadly.

"I'm sorry everything's so crappy for you," I told him. "Our area isn't that wonderful, but it's definitely better than the place you have to put up with. Which school are you going to after the holidays?"

"That's another big problem," Danny confided, with obvious disquiet. "I got in at the Grammar, I was the only one in my whole class who passed the entrance exam. I want to go, it's miles better than the comp near the estate, but...." Big, silent tears began to fall from his eyes. "My best friend's big brother has already said that I'll be 'dead meat' right from the first day of term, he's big mates with that dickhead who battered me before. What can I do, Dean, I'm really scared now."

I looked at him, feeling a sense of helplessness. I was an only child, so I had almost no background knowledge about what to do for a younger person in similar circumstances, especially a boy, who was traditionally supposed not to cry back then. The situation was exacerbated given the fact that he resembled Josie, not to the degree that they looked like twins, but there was a marked family likeness nonetheless - if my girl had been crying like that, I wouldn't have hesitated to give her a hug, but you couldn't hug a boy. Could you? Danny was still weeping freely, albeit quietly, making my heart ache for him. In the end, there was some instinctual empathetic response in my mind, maybe unconsciously remembering being comforted by my Mum when I was a little boy, and I simply wrapped him up in a warm embrace. He gasped in surprise, but within moments, he was reciprocating in kind. I was a little uncomfortable about the implications, but I couldn't help enjoying the closeness and warmth of his compact little body. The real jolt, though, was the unmistakable and almost instantaneous arousal I was suddenly waylaid with. He'll think I'm a poofter, I thought with horror, he'll tell Josie, he'll tell my parents, my life won't be worth living. I tried to disengage from him, but he wasn't having any of that, he squeezed me like a boa constrictor. I heard a little giggle from his direction.

"Don't go, Dean, please, I like cuddles! You're making me feel a lot better already."

"B....but we're both boys, Danny!"

"I don't care! I'm not going to tell anyone! Anyway, I like....boys a lot more than girls. They're way more sexy!"

I was speechless. The mid-1980s, especially in working-class areas like ours, was anything but accepting of 'diversity', particularly in terms of the visibility of the AIDS epidemic. Personally, I didn't know anyone, either at school or at home, who was openly gay, or even anyone who had that reputation. But now, there was someone, very close by, who fitted that bill. And he was only 11! How in the world could he know, at that age? Confusion reigned, but what didn't diminish was the insistent drumbeat of desire in my loins. Maybe I'm secretly gay too, I thought with a worried shake of my head. Danny drew away a little, just close enough that our eyes were able to focus. He gazed into my face, for long seconds, before sighing deeply wistfully.

"Don't worry, Dean, I don't think you're like me. Even if you've got a lob-on at the moment. Shame, you're really hot! Getting hard is just what boys do, all day every day, it you're anything like me!" The boy finally released me from his tenacious grasp, resuming his previous posture, close to me but not touching. He wiped the last of the moisture around his eyes, using the sleeve of the shirt he was wearing. He smiled once more, but with a somewhat mischievous expression in his face now he'd calmed down. "So, were you and Josie going to....do stuff together?!"

His suggestive question threw me slightly, and, before I could stop myself, I nodded in the affirmative. The telltale blush from a few minutes earlier was back, confirming his suspicions and making him smirk wickedly. There was a momentary flash of anger in my head, but it didn't last - curious he might be, but there wasn't a trace of malice in his demeanour, as far as I could tell. 

"Your folks are right, you are a nosy little bugger, aren't you?!" He pouted melodramatically, but his eyes were smiling. "Since I've been busted, I'll just tell you - as long as you can keep it a secret, OK?" He nodded eagerly. "We were going to get completely undressed, and....experiment together. I don't know whether we would've....gone all the way, Josie hadn't decided, but it was a possibility. But it all gone down the crapper now, I reckon, Josie will be stuck with her Mum all the way through the holidays. We won't even be able to hold hands, never mind anything else."

"That's so unlucky, Dean, I honestly mean that. It's so fun to play sexy with someone else!"

Once more, I was astounded with one of his revelations. "Y....you've done stuff already?!" He grinned. "With a boy, I assume?"

"Oh yeah, course, you're welcome to the girls! They're yucky!"

"Josie isn't!" I insisted, vehemently. "She's gorgeous!"

"Alright, they're yucky to me! I'll stick to the boys!" He looked at me, straight in the eye. "Now you're not going to do anything with Josie, at least today, you can play with me instead, if you like. Like I said before, I think you're miles sexier than any girl. You make me so hard! You don't have to do anything for me, but I'd love to give you a blowjob!"

"A what?" I said in perplexity. 

Danny looked incredulous. "Don't you know what a blowjob is?"

"I've....heard the word, but I don't really know what it means," I mumbled, self-consciously.

"It's when a boy - or a man, I guess - gets his dick sucked by someone. Girls can do it, but boys do it better, I've heard. It's common sense, if you think about it, who knows most about dicks? Another boy!"

I gasped in amazement. "You would want to do that?! Wouldn't it taste horrible?"

"It's only skin, if you wash it, what's the problem?" the boy shrugged. "I'd definitely do it for you, if you wanted."

"I....I don't know, that sounds really....gay." Danny rolled his eyes.

"Well duh! But I'm the gay one, not you! And I bet you'd love it, it feels awesome, trust me!"

My mouth was suddenly as dry as desert sand, and. even more pertinently, parts much lower down were fully on alert.

"W....would you really want to?" He nodded, without hesitation. "Right now?" 

"In a heartbeat, Dean. Wanna try?"

"Yeah," I breathed. His smile could've lit up a city. 

****

The phone rang, waking both Danny and I with a start. I looked at the wall clock, we'd been asleep for maybe half an hour. The boy rushed to the handset.

"Mum! What's happening? Is Josie OK?" There was a long pause at our end. "Oh, that's great news! When will she be able to go home?" Another, slightly shorter hiatus. "Now?! Brilliant!" Danny gave me a huge thumbs up. "Dean is here already, Mum, he called for Josie, in case she was able to go out somewhere. He's really worried about her, so I said he could wait until there was some news. Was that alright?" Another thumbs up. "OK, Mum, we'll see you soon. 'Bye!"

I was so conflicted. On the one hand, I wanted to hug Danny, on the other, I felt like throttling him. Don't tell anyone, I'd said, and what does he do?! And that's before the huge can of worms the previous couple of hours had opened. He'd sucked me off twice, and I'd wanked him to a whimpering dry orgasm - I had no idea boys could have orgasms at his age! And I'd loved every second of it!

"I bet you guessed, Josie's ready to come back home. She hasn't broken anything, they say it was just a bad sprain. In about a week, if she rests her ankle properly, she'll be good to go, the doctor reckons!" 

"Why did you tell your mum about me being here? I asked you not to. I'll have to go now, I expect."

"No, Dean, Mum said Josie really wanted see you. Aunty Angela said the same, promise. They'll be here in about half an hour. Don't fret, Mum always says, everything will be fine!"

Danny's enthusiasm was infectious, but I was still on tenterhooks about the implications of the sex we'd shared. "Don't get me wrong, what we did was so much fun, but I'm....feeling guilty now. Josie's my girlfriend, and I've gone behind her back. She'll dump me for sure if she finds out. And I wouldn't blame her, either."

Danny's face was a picture of horrified remorse. "Oh shit, I didn't think about that! I'm sorry, Dean, I don't want to ruin things for you. Or for Josie, either." Tears were close again.

"Hey, it's not your fault, at all. It was me who should've said 'no'. But it was too tempting for me. Can we keep it a secret, Danny? Please?"

The boy smiled wanly. "I'll never tell anyone, I promise." He made the 'cross my heart' gesture. "I'll just have to find a boyfriend of my own. God knows where, round my way, but that's my problem, not yours. Shall we wash our face and hands, just in case there's any....spunky stuff hiding anywhere?"

"Good idea, Danny!" I sighed, deeply, before smiling into his eyes, as earnestly as I could. "I really like you, I'd love it for us to be good friends. But no more sexy stuff together....please?"

The mischief in his face was back, in spades. "I'll be good, promise! Except...." He grabbed me, kissing me, tongues and all, for long seconds. "That was just for remembrance! At least I can say I've snogged a hot guy!" We both giggled like little girls, before heading to the bathroom.

****

My phone rang, not a particularly common occurrence these days. I glanced at the screen, but didn't recognise the number. I almost ignored it, but I was lucky in not being plagued with junk calls, so I decided to accept the connection.

"Hello, Dean Walton speaking."

"Dean, great to hear from you." An unfamiliar, vaguely Mid-Atlantic voice was on the line. "It's Dan, Dan Taverner."

"Dan! Bloody hell, I haven't spoken to you since....was it, 1998?"

"Yep, spot on! It when I invited you to my leaving party, but you were working and could make it."

"Yeah, I remember. I was gutted, but I was living in Cornwall at the time, and it was just impossible. I'd used all my leave, when my Mum was so ill in hospital, and then died. It was all a complete mess at the time. But how are you these days, are you back in the UK?"

"Yeah, permanently, in all probability. Non-American scientific researchers, especially gay ones, aren't exactly flavour of the month in the new US administration. I was fired, at 24 hours notice, and the chance of getting a new job, stateside, was pretty much nil."

"That's bloody garbage, it's like the Dark Ages, from what I've seen on the net. Are you going to be visiting our damp and drizzly area any time soon?"

"I'm here already! I'm staying in the Travelodge near the prison. Fancy a liquid lunch?!"

"If only! With all the pills I have to swallow now, I can't drink alcohol at all, sadly. Coffee is allowed, though, and the unlimited refills at 'Spoons' is a good offer for a poor boy like me! What time are you free?"

"Any time from now to closing time! Midday suit you?"

"Sounds ideal. See you soon!"

****

It had been a lovely reunion, hours of happy recollections of our tween/teenage years and our less connected but still friendly early and mid twenties. But it all ended around fifteen years later, when I'd got married and moved to the West Country, and Dan got his dream job as a metallurgist in a prestigious American university and emigrated to sunny California. Much as I'd enjoyed the afternoon, by around 4:00 I was flagging pretty badly, despite the delightful company - my friend was still full of fun and poorly disguised mischief, the 11 year old 'Danny' was never far away! - but my health had been disappointingly poor ever since I'd been stricken with 'long Covid' during the infamous pandemic.

"I'm really sorry, Dan, but I need to go home soon. I'm stupidly tired most days, and I'm way beyond my usual 'nap time'. There's a bus due in about fifteen minutes, just round the corner, and I'm seriously tempted to catch it."

"I understand, Dean. I'll come with you, I've got a bus ticket that's valid for a week, so it won't cost anything extra. Come on, let's go."

I tried to assure him that I was more than able to get home, but he was insistent. "No, I'd never forgive myself if you fall in a heap en route. I'll make sure you're safe and sound."

Forty minutes later, I was back in my lounge, reclining on my comfortable sofa. Dan was solicitously asking if I needed anything.

"Just a glass of water, please. There's coffee in the kitchen if you want some, but there's no tea, I'm afraid."

"Coffee will be great, Dean. Relax, and I'll see to everything."

The next thing I remember, I woke with a feeling of being asleep for hours, my head was thoroughly foggy. As I resurfaced, I saw Dan was smiling, reading one of my books in the armchair.

"Feeling better, Dean?"

"I'll tell you in a few minutes, when I'm awake!" I chuckled. "I'm sorry I flaked out like that, I haven't been a much of a host, have I?"

The care in his eyes shone like a beacon. "Don't worry about me, you've got some interesting stuff in your bookcase. That water will be pretty tepid, I reckon, I'll get you some fresh instead." Before I could stop him, the glass on the table had been whisked away, and a replacement was soon in evidence. "That's from one of your bottles in the fridge, so it should be nice and cold."

"I appreciate what you've done, Dan, but I'm not an invalid! I'm used to looking after myself, I've been doing it for years, even after the dreaded Covid caught up with me. You're the guest, I should be looking after you!"

"How long have you been on your own, Dean?"

"Fifteen years now, give or take. I split up with my ex in 2010, and got divorced the following year. I'd had enough of all the nagging, all the backbiting, she changed completely when we found out that I couldn't father children, and when I wasn't prepared to go for adoption. I lost pretty much everything, but it was better than losing my self-respect. Never again, mate. I'd rather be a hermit for the rest of my life! At least I could go back home with Dad, he'd bought the lease of our flat by then, and when he died, I became the heir, as it were, so I had somewhere to live without spending a fortune in rent."

"You never did have much luck with the women in your life, did you? God knows why, you were always such a nice guy."

I looked him wryly. "Too nice for my own good, probably. I was more or less told that my one of my girlfriends, not long before I met my ex, that girl - young woman, whatever - dumped me because I was 'too safe', whatever that meant. Maybe I was too afraid of being hurt, after losing my first love so traumatically."

Dan's expression changed, his face was almost scowling. "Yeah, my cousin turned out to be a total bitch, didn't she?"

I shrugged my shoulders, sighing sadly. I'd been with Josie for more than two years, we'd lost our virginities together in the wake of her ankle injury, and I'd been convinced that our relationship was going to be 'the big one' in my life. It certainly looked like it at the time, until, suddenly, it wasn't. Josie and her immediate family had gone to a wedding, on the last weekend of our summer holidays, the year when we were fifteen, so I didn't get to see her until we were back at school on the following Tuesday. I was expecting a kiss and a quick cuddle, instead, the sky fell in. My girlfriend - my ex-girlfriend, evidently - was entwined with a notorious 'bad boy', two years older than us. I was aghast, but worse was to come. 'You're history, Dean!' she'd said, in front of everyone, while the youth, Kyle, sneered 'Yeah, Jo's ready for a real man, not a fairy like you! And if you even look at her now, you'll be dead meat, understand?' The scorn, the humiliation, the heartbreak were far too much for me, and I simply burst into tears, eliciting another round of cruel laughter, courtesy of the numerous bystanders. What I didn't realise was that Josie had been cheating on me for months - what do they say about the old chestnut, 'being the last to know'? It certainly applied in my case.

"It took me years, literally, to get over what happened that day, Dan. In a way, maybe, I've never got over it. She was so special as far as I was concerned, if it had been up to me, we'd still be together, most likely. But it wasn't to be. At least you were still my best friend, if you'd abandoned me as well, I don't know whether could've managed at all."

The man looked at me, as though his eyes were boring holes in my skull, for long, long moments. Eventually, he spoke, almost in a whisper. "I know all about first love, first heartbreak, Dean. It's a bloody cliché, gay boy falls for a straight boy, misery ensues. Tears of a clown, and all that bullshit."

Without thinking, I asked the question. "Who was it, Dan?" His expression was instantly full of hurt. My mouth fell open. "I....it was....me, wasn't it?"

"Of course it was you, you dick! Who else?! The times I cried myself to sleep because of you, it was a miracle I didn't bloody drown! But I knew you only liked girls - well, one girl in particular - so I had to suck it up, day by day, month by month. Don't get me wrong, our friendship, even without any....intimate stuff, was special to me, but there was that drip, drip, drip of 'what could have been', all the bloody time. And it wasn't about sex, either - yeah, OK, I would've gone to bed with you in a heartbeat, but that was never the priority. I was madly in love with you, Dean. For years and years!" His voice, which had been rather over volume in his impassioned revelation, went back to a whisper. "A....and after today....I still love you just as much as ever. I've had plenty of sex, over the years, but only one person has ever had my heart."

I simply didn't know what to say. Time flowed like treacle, the room was silence exemplified. My friend stood up, looking distraught, defeated. "Sorry, I'll go. I won't bother you again," he said, his words were flat, lifeless. The dam in my mind broke, spectacularly.

"Danny, don't go, please don't go! I....I love you too, but....I'm scared about my feelings. Please let me....come to terms with everything." His expression was suffused by hope, all of a sudden. "C....can I have a hug, please?"

"You can have anything, Dean, anything at all!"

****

Was it 'happy ever after' on Day 1? Not initially. Danny - he says he always loved me using the diminutive version of his name, and still does - moved into my flat within days, but that didn't mean we were 'at it' like rabbits straight away. From the outset, we were determined to be completely honest with each other, and one of the earliest conversations centred on sex, in particular my discomfort with male-to-male contact. I enjoyed the warmth and closeness of being in bed with him, after so many years sleeping alone, but anything more was problematic for me. He was patiently understanding, not the least inclined to push me beyond my comfort zone - 'if I get desperate, I'll go into the bathroom and have a wank!', he'd said, with typical good humour. Eventually, though, I started to loosen up, albeit that it took me a couple of months. We reprised our boyhood 'one morning stand', he fellated me with rapturous expertise - it was the best orgasm of my life, bar none! - while I rather clumsily stroked his now impressive adult endowment (he wasn't 'porn star' sized, but he was definitely markedly bigger than me, in both length and girth), marvelling at his copious ejaculation. He ended up in floods of tears, tears of joy, he told me, once he was able to speak, it was a dream come true for him, after forty years of unrequited love. He subtly hinted that he'd like to go further - he was a born 'receiver' than a 'giver', but I've disappointed him, so far, at least, anal has been a 'bridge too far' for me, although I have given him oral pleasure, 'sixty-nine' being our latest step, one which I've come to enjoy greatly. 

But most of all, the love and friendship I've shared with Danny has been easily the best element of our new life. He's found a good job, in a field related to his speciality, at the local university, and we're actively looking for a small bungalow somewhere within commuting distance for him - the four flights of stairs to the flat have become increasingly onerous for me, given my gradually deteriorating health. Whatever happens, though, I've finally found my 'forever partner', after all these years. 

****

That was going to be the finale, but there's been a postscript, literally on the day I was ready to publish this story on my blog. Danny and I were in town, and decided to have a pub lunch after we'd finished our shopping. And who did we bump into? Josie! I wouldn't have recognised her, but Danny did, having visited one or two family members since his return back home, and she recognised him, too. I was shocked at how old and tired she seemed, but one thing hadn't changed - her sneering attitude, when she found out who her cousin's partner was. 

"I'm glad I made the right choice, back at school," she said acidly. "I thought you'd turned out like a wet blanket, but I wouldn't have believed that you'd do the whole hog and end up a pansy like him!", gesturing at Danny, with obvious malice.

"The feeling is mutual," I said, looking at her evenly. "At least I've found someone who cares about me. How's your love life?!" I snapped.

"None of your sodding business! If I never see you again, it'll be a day too soon. Bloody poofter, you'll be burning in hell very soon, God will see to that!" She turned on her heel, and stalked off.

"And a good afternoon to you, too!" I said, ironically,

"One of my other cousins, on my Dad's side, says she's been divorced twice, had three kids, all of who hate her and won't give her the time of the day, and now she's become a god-bothering fundie, mixed up with some hate-preaching splinter group. She'd fit in the current American madness perfectly!" Danny wryly observed. "You've dodged a bullet, Dean, and no mistake!"

"You're not wrong!" I looked at my soulmate, with all the love I could muster. "Take me home, my darling Danny, I'm ready for some bedroom action. And no yucky girls allowed!"

****

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B