A long time ago, and quite far away, I wrote a very short story. This is, in part, a sequel, and in part a reaction to a real-world story I came across today.
SB
****
"Hello." No response. "It's good to see you." I smiled, encouragingly, I hoped, in the young man's direction. Still nothing beyond the blank expression he was wearing as he walked through the door and sat down on the opposite side of the small table. But then, as if galvanised by some invisible force, he glared into my eyes.
"I hate you!" he snarled, "You ruined my life!"
His words stung, deep inside, but I forced myself to remain calm, resolute, to take whatever he chose to mete out. But nothing more followed, and he subsided once more into silence. I waited for what seemed like an eternity, but was probably no more than fifteen seconds.
"I love you. Always have, right from that first day, always will," I said quietly.
The vehemence flared once more. "Liar! You never loved me! You just took advantage of me! That's what paedos do, pretend they care, just so they can get what they want. Everyone says so!"
I waited once more, until I had some inkling that he might be listening.
"All I can do is to tell you the truth, my truth, as I see it. You're the greatest love of my life, bar none. That's the truth, I promise. I can't make you believe me, of course, but that doesn't change what I feel. I don't blame you for seeing things differently, and I certainly don't blame you for anything that's happened. I was the adult, you weren't. It was my responsibility, which I accept fully. But I've never stopped loving you, and never will."
He drew breath, as if to launch into another tirade, but, as he did, our eyes met. Like they used to, in another life. When he did speak again, it was as if he'd regressed, turned back into the boy I'd fallen in love with, all those years earlier.
"B....but they told me....y....you were only interested....in....sex."
"They?"
"The....the police, the social worker, e....even my....mum. They said you....just wanted to....rape me."
I looked once more into those grey-green eyes, so beautiful, so unforgettable. "I'm sorry they told you that. I'm sorry, not for my sake, but because it hurt you. I would never, ever have done that, to anyone, but especially not to you. I know there were things that we did do, that's why I'm here, but I never did anything to hurt you knowingly. If I've hurt you in other ways, unintentionally, all I can say, and yes, I know these are just words, is that I'm truly sorry. Because I promise you I would never have hurt you on purpose. For anything. Again, you can believe me, or not, as you see fit. But it's the truth."
"I....I do believe you. Now I've....seen you again, you really are like I remembered, not how....other people have....painted you. I didn't know why I even came here, but I....I'm glad I did."
"I'm glad, too. It's been so nice to see you again. I see you in my head every day, but I didn't think I'd ever see you again in reality. I'm so happy."
For a moment, he looked as though he might rush into my arms, but a glance towards the warder quelled that impulse as soon as it was born. Instead, he extended his hand, his now adult hand, across the table. I took it tenderly in mine.
"I....I hope you're not....in here too much longer."
I shrugged involuntarily. "That's not up to either of us, I'm afraid. It is what it is."
"W....when you do....get out, get in touch....please?"
"If that's what you want, I certainly will." I smiled at him once more. "Have a happy life, sweetheart. You deserve it."
This time, my smile was returned, with interest.
****
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
SB
****
"Hello." No response. "It's good to see you." I smiled, encouragingly, I hoped, in the young man's direction. Still nothing beyond the blank expression he was wearing as he walked through the door and sat down on the opposite side of the small table. But then, as if galvanised by some invisible force, he glared into my eyes.
"I hate you!" he snarled, "You ruined my life!"
His words stung, deep inside, but I forced myself to remain calm, resolute, to take whatever he chose to mete out. But nothing more followed, and he subsided once more into silence. I waited for what seemed like an eternity, but was probably no more than fifteen seconds.
"I love you. Always have, right from that first day, always will," I said quietly.
The vehemence flared once more. "Liar! You never loved me! You just took advantage of me! That's what paedos do, pretend they care, just so they can get what they want. Everyone says so!"
I waited once more, until I had some inkling that he might be listening.
"All I can do is to tell you the truth, my truth, as I see it. You're the greatest love of my life, bar none. That's the truth, I promise. I can't make you believe me, of course, but that doesn't change what I feel. I don't blame you for seeing things differently, and I certainly don't blame you for anything that's happened. I was the adult, you weren't. It was my responsibility, which I accept fully. But I've never stopped loving you, and never will."
He drew breath, as if to launch into another tirade, but, as he did, our eyes met. Like they used to, in another life. When he did speak again, it was as if he'd regressed, turned back into the boy I'd fallen in love with, all those years earlier.
"B....but they told me....y....you were only interested....in....sex."
"They?"
"The....the police, the social worker, e....even my....mum. They said you....just wanted to....rape me."
I looked once more into those grey-green eyes, so beautiful, so unforgettable. "I'm sorry they told you that. I'm sorry, not for my sake, but because it hurt you. I would never, ever have done that, to anyone, but especially not to you. I know there were things that we did do, that's why I'm here, but I never did anything to hurt you knowingly. If I've hurt you in other ways, unintentionally, all I can say, and yes, I know these are just words, is that I'm truly sorry. Because I promise you I would never have hurt you on purpose. For anything. Again, you can believe me, or not, as you see fit. But it's the truth."
"I....I do believe you. Now I've....seen you again, you really are like I remembered, not how....other people have....painted you. I didn't know why I even came here, but I....I'm glad I did."
"I'm glad, too. It's been so nice to see you again. I see you in my head every day, but I didn't think I'd ever see you again in reality. I'm so happy."
For a moment, he looked as though he might rush into my arms, but a glance towards the warder quelled that impulse as soon as it was born. Instead, he extended his hand, his now adult hand, across the table. I took it tenderly in mine.
"I....I hope you're not....in here too much longer."
I shrugged involuntarily. "That's not up to either of us, I'm afraid. It is what it is."
"W....when you do....get out, get in touch....please?"
"If that's what you want, I certainly will." I smiled at him once more. "Have a happy life, sweetheart. You deserve it."
This time, my smile was returned, with interest.
****
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
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