It's happened again. A connection made, a brief efflorescence of optimism, the hope that this time, tendrils of friendship might meet and entwine, drawing strength from each other, synergistically, symbiotically, breaking down the walls of isolation. But then, after a few promising days, a last, lukewarm message, once again I've been found to be less than meets the eye, and the electronic handclasp slips away, leaving me to freefall back into the abyss of desolation, a solivagant once more.
Does it always have to be like this? There must be someone, somewhere, who might find me tolerable, but that person seems to be stubbornly elusive, irretrievably buried in the morass of humanity all around, but seemingly far away. Could it be that I'm the one piece of the jigsaw that's surplus to requirements, not fitting anywhere in the pattern, fated to be left, forgotten, in my box while all the others come together to make a beautiful picture?
They say hope springs eternal, but I know otherwise, hope can be eroded, imperceptibly ebbing away until all that is left is a puddle of despair, just deep enough to drown in. Drowned in solitude.
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Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
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